Mr. D's Notes on I Timothy
Rev. Stanley L. Derickson Ph.D.
Copyright 2000

CHAPTER 15

Recently Leadership Magazine commissioned a poll of a thousand pastors. The pastors indicated that 12 percent had committed adultery while in the ministry which is one in eight pastors! The poll also revealed that 23 percent had done something they considered sexually inappropriate. Christianity Today surveyed a thousand of its subscribers who were not pastors and found that 23 percent said they had been involved in extramarital relations and 45 percent indicated they had done something they themselves deemed sexually inappropriate. One in four Christian men are unfaithful, and nearly one half has behaved unbecomingly! This becomes more important when we realize that Christianity Today readers tend to be college-educated church leaders, elders, deacons, Sunday school superintendents, and teachers.

God knows where men's hearts and minds tend to wonder, and He knows that those ministering to His children ought to be of the highest caliber, thus He has set a very high standard - a standard that I personally have only seen invoked once in a single church in thirty years of ministry.

Many churches run out the standard when they need a pastor and read it and many study it to be sure they know what they are supposed to look for, but then when it comes to finding such a man they fail miserably. Many churches never hold this standard to their prospects because they are not willing to wait for God to provide His man for His church!

I. PREREQUISITE FOR HEADSHIP (ruling the house)
II. PREREQUISITE FOR FATHERSHIP (having children in subjection)
III. PREREQUISITE FOR LEADERSHIP (caring for the church)

INTRODUCTION:

SUSAN WESLEY'S RULES FOR CHILD TRAINING: She had 19 children, and raised them well with the following 16 rules:

1. No eating between meals.
2. All children in bed by 8:00 p.m.
3. Take your medicine without complaining.
4. Subdue self will in each child.
5. Work with God to save the soul of each child.
6. Teach the child to pray as soon as he can speak.
7. Require all to be still during family worship.
8. Give children nothing they cry for.
9. Give them only what they ask for politely.
10. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed.
11. Do not allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
12. Command and reward good behavior.
13. Preserve property rights, even in the smallest matters.
14. Strictly observe all promises.
15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.
16. Teach children to fear the rod."

Now, I wish that these rules had been introduced as Wesley's father's rules, but they are good rules anyway.

I don't want to talk about children specifically, though they are related to our study. We want to look at the elder qualification to be a good parent as a prerequisite to being a church leader.

Turn to I Tim. 3:4-5 with me. "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"

This father achieves obedience of his children in the following way - by having them in subjection with gravity.

He stands as head - runs it as head. There is a chain of authority with him at the top. One of the biggest hindrances to a proper upbringing of children is a family that has no authority. If the father runs things one way and the mother another there is no way that the children can know what is expected. The parents need to discuss what they think the proper family is to be, then the father is to make the final decision and the couple should go forth with a united front in the raising of their children.

The man should be able to control his children. If his children aren't saved and turn out bad it is not necessarily a disqualification in this area, unless of course, he has neglected the family's training. He should be able to control the children. Their salvation is up to God, and their life's decisions are theirs BUT their raising and discipline are the fathers overall responsibility.

The father must teach, guide and exhort. Vine mentions, "to stand before, hence to lead, attend to" This indicates care and diligence. Not something that is accomplished by remote control, nor is it something that is accomplished by delegating authority to the mother. Mom is an integrated part of the process but not the defining moment of the process.

Ruleth is the same word that is translated ruleth in Rom. 12.8. This is the context of ruling a church congregation. These two verses only strengthen one another. (the others usages are: I Thess. 5.12 "are over"; I Tim 3.12 and Titus 3.8,14 where it appears as "to maintain".)

In many church government setups the elders are simply there to facilitate the desires of the congregation. This is not the thought here in this passage. There is more to the office of elder than doing the bidding of the congregation. The congregation sets the purpose of the assembly, makes final big decisions, and assists in seeking qualified men, but the leadership is in the hands of the church leaders.

The term subjection has the thought of a deep decision or commitment. It is used in II Cor. 9.13 as submission to the Gospel. This is not a subjection or submission that is now and then - the submission to the gospel is a serious, deep, one time, total, life altering matter.

So the children of the family of a church elder should be committed to their father’s headship and leadership - not now and then - not when it is convenient - not when the child wants to - AT ALL TIMES!

Some feel that the elders’ children ought to have a higher standard set upon them. This is not necessarily fair, but this passage may indicate that this is a true observation. Not that the kids are perfect, but held to a higher standard in their family relationships.

The thought of "children" is not that of a small child necessarily. The term is used of young to older. Vine states, "it gives prominence to the fact of birth".
(It is used in Matt. 9.1-2 of a man; Matt 2.18; 3.9 as children under two; Rom. 8.16 = adults are children of God; Col. 3.20 as in children obey your parents.)

There may be a sense that adult children should still be in proper relation to the father as in Honor your Father and Mother.

Thayer mentions of the term gravity "the characteristic of a thing or person which entitles to reverence and respect, dignity, majesty, sanctity, honour, purity" The elder should run his house in such a way that his children automatically see him as a man that is entitled to respect and dignity.

One of the merchandise managers at the store where I work is such a man. I call him by first name, but find myself a little uneasy in doing so. This man is not a believer, but he seems to have his house in order, he seems to have his work in order, and he seems to have his life in order.

I have a great respect for this man. I feel that he is deserving of any respect, help, or assistance I can ever give to him. He did not ask me for this respect. The respect comes from my knowing his character.

Many are the children in this world that have no respect nor dignity toward their parents. In the store we see children mouthing off to their parents constantly, even to the point of swearing at them and calling them names.

One of our pastors when we were going to Bible college had one good son and one that was not so good at times. The poor one was rebellious to a point - didn't care for church - long stringy hair - very rough type. He didn't turn out a pride and joy as a teenager BUT, he was under subjection. One look from his father and foolishness or wrong doing was stopped. He was always in church. He always did as his father asked him to do. He seemed later on to have turned out okay. He bothered some people in the church, but they were not seeing the whole story - only the outward trouble.

Before you condemn a pastor for a bad teen, see if he has him in subjection. This is the requirement - not that all kids turn out as super saints. The result of a good elder is not always 100% spiritual on fire Christians.

This man lead his small struggling congregation over a number of years to establish a large church with a very adequate building. He had some in his church that were as his sons. Some were outstanding members, and some were stinkers. The pastor as in his family brought his membership to a place of unity and lead both his natural family and his spiritual family to success.

Barnes has a real mouth full on this point. I am not sure I lived up to his standard - in that I have and probably always will be way over humored! "Having his children in subjection with all gravity. This does not mean that his children should evince gravity, whatever may be true on that point; but it refers to the father, he should be a grave or serious man in his family; a man free from levity of character, and from frivolity and fickleness, in his intercourse with his children. It does not mean that he should be severe, stern, morose--which are traits that are often mistaken for gravity, and which are as inconsistent with the proper spirit of a father as frivolity of manner --but that he should be a serious and sober-minded man. He should maintain proper dignity, he should maintain self-respect, and his deportment should be such as to inspire others with respect for him."

I believe that humor and fun can be a part of a family's life. Grave to me would be seriousness of purpose for the family, not necessarily a personality trait. Everyone knowing this is a Godly family would be the thought in my mind.

Verse five (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Verse five shows the why of verse four.

The term “house” may imply, as well as controlling the family as the context speaks of, but also of the material things. He should be able to run his house in a proper manner, keeping his bills paid, keeping his house in repair and keeping his house in pleasant appearance. Some preachers today are behind in their bills if not delinquent, and are behind in their homes upkeep. This ought not be so.

Now, just why would Paul tell Timothy that an elder must be a good head of house to be a good elder?

SOME THOUGHTS:

If he is a good head of house he will be a good leader for the church. Paul likens the one job to the other. The job, the principles of, and the work of being a good head of house are JUST the qualifications for the elder.

a. He will be the one that heads up the church.

One that assists and helps sets the course for the church.
One that trains the church.
One that nurtures the church.
One that encourages the church.
One that assists the church to its fullest potential.
One that DISCIPLINES THE CHURCH.

b. I suspect that Paul saw another characteristic that a good father will bring to a church.

The father that is head of his house and a responsible father to his children is one that has a great love and concern for the family. So, the elder that has a love and concern for his people will be the leader of the church that he ought to be and will be the responsible leader that he should be.

c. On the other side of the coin we must relate the thought of submissive children to the congregation.

There is absolutely no way a church can march forward if the people are not willing and desirous of following the men that God has placed over them.

Think of the logic of this. A child has no choice in the father that is placed over them by God. The church member may have little choice over the elders that are placed over them by God. Both should be in subjection to the respective leader.

NEVER CAN A CHURCH HOPE TO BE SUCCESSFUL FOR GOD IF THE PEOPLE ARE NOT WILLING TO ALLOW THEIR ELDERS TO LEAD THEM.

THEY CANNOT FORCE THEM TO FOLLOW,
THEY CANNOT FORCE THEM TO SUBMIT TO THEM,
AND THEY CANNOT FORCE THEM TO RESPECT THEM.

If they are God's men for the hour then that ends the discussion. The church member should work and live in the church membership as a good child of God.

d. And this brings us to the final thought. The church member is a Child of God. The elder is placed over the child of God as an earthly father or guide. THIS IS NOT HOW STANLEY DERICKSON SET IT UP - IT IS HOW GOD SET IT UP!

The elder should have the responsibilities of a father, the elder should have the authority of a father, and the elder ought to have the respect of a father.

NOW, DON'T GO OUT TELLING EVERYONE I WANT TO BE CALLED FATHER! I don't know this to be a fact, but I suspect that this may be the basis for the Roman Catholic thought of the priest being called father.

APPLICATION:

1. Never consider a candidate that does not have his family with him. How in the world can you consider his qualification in this area if you have never met the family?

2. It is wise to see the family for more than a couple hours. This is one of the reasons that many churches are asking that their candidates spend a week with the church before being considered.

3. The pastor and his family are to be the example of a proper family to those that they minister to.

One of the reasons the mission we were with was so excited about us going to Ireland was this very fact. The Irish have a very poor concept of the family and the mission wanted the Irish believers to see what a Christian family was to be like - not that ours was perfect - only a lot more of a family than the Irish had ever seen. We did not ultimately go to the field, but since several very strong families have raised support and arrived on the field.

4. The man that does not fulfill this qualification is not to be a church leader. If a man has not raised his family well, then God does not feel that he can raise a church family well.

Again, this is not open to discussion. This is the way God set it up and this is the way that God wants it.

5. One final family concept that relates to the church family concept is unity. The family that is properly raised is a family unit - there should be a real unity of purpose.

So, in the church there should be a real unity - indeed, there must be a unity of purpose lest the church crumble.

Pleiades is a set of seven stars in the constellation Taurus. They are supposedly the seven daughters of Atlas in Greek mythology. The seven make up a loose cluster of stars. Six are visible to the average person. The interesting part of this cluster of stars is that they are in separate and distinct orbits, which one day will lead them in different directions. This will result someday in the disappearance of the star cluster Pleiades.

I think that this illustrates quite well the church that has several people going several different directions - often their own direction. The church that is not united in purpose will one day cease to exist.

I trust that as time goes along the church universal will start looking very seriously at the qualifications for elders before calling men into the leadership.

I also trust that if there is ever a time that an elder of the church ceases to rule his own house well, that he is asked to step aside before he rules God's house not so well.

God did not set these qualifications for the fun of seeing if Timothy could find someone to fulfill them. THESE ARE GOD'S REQUIREMENTS FOR THE MAN THAT IS GOING TO LEAD HIS CHILDREN!

God knows what outcome He wants for His children and He will provide the men that will get that job done!

Don't be afraid to require what God requires!
Don't be afraid to be picky!
Don't be afraid to await God's man!

A final quote from Barnes:

"One that ruleth well his own house. This implies that a minister of the gospel would be, and ought to be, a married man. It is everywhere in the New Testament supposed that he would be a man who could be an example in all the relations of life. The position which he occupies in the church has a strong resemblance to the relation which a father sustains to his household; and a qualification to govern a family well, would be an evidence of a qualification to preside properly in the church. It is probable that, in the early Christian church, ministers were not infrequently taken from those of mature life, and who were, at the time, at the head of families; and, of course, such would be men who had had an opportunity of showing that they had this qualification for the office. Though, however, this cannot be insisted on now as a previous qualification for the office, yet it is still true that, if he has a family, it is a necessary qualification, and that a man in the ministry should be one who governs his own house well. A want of this will always be a hindrance to extensive usefulness."

If this standard had been the standard used for leaders over the last fifty years, we would not be faced with the problems we have in churches today.

The sexual impropriety
The stress on cash
The stress on self-centeredness
The church problems

We must seek and wait till we find men of this caliber instead of electing warm bodies to offices that our constitutions require us to fill.