Week five: Titus 2.4-8 THE YOUNG
By Rev. Stanley L. Derickson Ph.D.
COPYRIGHT 2004
That is the young chronologically. I might mention for
the sake of the younger generation, that most adults in the older age groups
actually feel in their minds as though they are young. When an older person
thinks of themselves, they normally think of themselves as in their teen to
early twenty era. This is not vanity, that is just kind of the way it is.
One old woman commented once that she was a young lady trapped
in an old woman's body. When we look in the mirror in the morning we often
wonder who that person is - that can't be me - I'm not that old!
It is a bit of an intellectual battle that goes on. We
know we are young but the old body doesn't function the way it should. This is
why old folks balk at going to the retirement centers - they aren't old enough
for that yet. I recently heard those very words from a woman that was in her
80's.
Just an illustration of this. I am writing most of this
study at a Jack in the Box over coffee. There is an elderly woman that
frequents the place from time to time, well, daily - kind of like me. She stops
at McDonald's across the street to pick up some of her food then comes here to
get the rest of her food and then eats it here.
The McDonald's gave her a kid’s magazine this morning and
she proceeded to read the jokes to me, which we both enjoyed. All adults, no
matter the age, are kids at heart - don't forget that as you plan your dealings
with the senior segment of your congregation. They enjoy things that you might
not think they would. Indeed, they enjoy most things middle-agers enjoy. In
fact some seniors enjoy what the young enjoy; they just can't do it all quite
as quickly.
4 That they may
teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their
children,
5 [To be]
discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that
the word of God be not blasphemed.
"Teach" is a different word than the usual one
used in the New Testament. This has the thought of return one to their senses,
or sober them up if drunk, or to control or curb someone. It can also relate to
disciple someone. Thus we see the young women were out of control in some
manner and the older women were to put them to a proper place. Since the family
and home seem to be the context, you'd assume that the young women were out of
control in relation to their family and home.
The term "sober" is the same Greek word
translated teach. Sober the young women so that they can be sober. One must
wonder what a mess these families must have been in if the older women were to
teach such subjects as these.
The understanding of this word translated
"teach" gives new light upon the last part of the verse. The women are
to be corrected in their love of their husbands and children. They didn’t love
them properly or at all. This was to be corrected and the young women were to
properly love their family.
Oh, what a message for the church today. Have you talked
with and/or seen the attitudes of young women in the church lately? They have
little concept of proper Christian womanhood. Many are rebellious toward their
husbands and lacking in care of their children. They are more interested in
their own desires than in fulfilling their wifely/motherly duties. Many are
more interested in amassing toys than rewards in heaven. The latest fashion is
the most important, the latest in houses, cars are the most important.
They need to be brought back to reality and their families.
There is a tremendous need for families in general to get back on track in the
church.
"Discreet" is a related word to the one
translated teach and sober in the previous verse. It relates to being discreet,
sober, and sane, in one's own senses. Again, the thought of proper control of
yourself.
"Chaste" is the thought of pure, without sin,
or without wrong. In the area of sexuality, she should be taught to be without
wrong. In the area of her marital relationship she should be taught to be
without wrong.
In this area of sexuality, I don't think most church
goers have any idea what is going on in our teen girl’s minds. This is the next
generation of mothers that is going to be teaching our Sunday schools. Most
teen girls today feel that oral sex is not really sex. They also feel it is
about as casual a thing as kissing.
If churches don't wake up to the way the world has warped
our kids we are in for even bigger trouble than we have now. We have got to
start teaching about proper marriage, about improper divorce, about the sin of
remarriage, about the proper sexuality.
They are to be brought to proper knowledge of keeping the
home. Again, today where are our Christian mothers? Are they at home keeping it
in proper order, or are they out at the mall, out wherever it is that they go
to do their thing?
Keeping a home in our society is almost a four-letter
word. It is one of the most honored of places for a woman to be, yet our
society has placed it down with the lowest of low positions. We need to let our
young women know where God would have them be. It is not that they can't work,
nor work outside the home, but the best place is normally in the home loving
and caring for their family. We will delve into this more in a moment.
And we see even further reference to the marital
relationship. She is to be in submission or obedient to her husband. It is
curious in my mind why Paul would have added the word "own" before
the husband, but maybe the Cretan society was like ours is today. She is to submit
to her own husband and not someone else's husband. I don't know how much more
clear I need to make this, but maybe I can. Your husband is your only husband,
there is no other. There is no one else’s husband that you should be submitting
to.
We have seen women stray into adultery, and many of them
see nothing wrong in what they have done. One husband I spoke to said it was
six months after the fact before his wife could realize that what she had done
was wrong and that she had sinned. THESE
I would take a side trail for a moment. I am way down on
the church in generalities, I know there are many churches that are teaching
the word as they ought, but too many are not and it is these churches that are
producing the sin of the church today. Yes, individual responsibility is in
view, but so is the lack of teaching.
If your church is preaching the word, is talking about
the sin of our society, then praise God, but realize that many aren't and you
don't want your teenagers going off to youth groups that you don't have
confidence in.
Subject to their “own” husband. What a telling command.
How sad that any Christian gathering should need part of their group to be
taught such things at the command of an apostle. You would think that it would
be common practice to teach every class of youth these things.
Many today decry curriculum in our Sunday school, but it
is needed so that when the day is over we can know that every kid that has gone
through our system has been taught the basics of Christian living.
Paul desires these things be set aright so that the Word
is not blasphemed. The term blasphemed relates to "speaking ill of"
or speaking against. It is the same word that is used of speaking against God.
Our family life is a witness to the Word, it is a witness
to our belief in that Word and it is a witness to the world around us.
All of this because Paul did not want God's name
blasphemed. Ezekiel has a chapter where God is acting to keep His name in a
proper light. He is desirous to keep His name clean from blot, yet believers
today could care less about how they reflect upon His name.
I think it important to read this chapter so that you can
know how God feels about his GOOD name. Ezek. 36 is somewhat similar if you
want to give a read.
Ezek. 20
20:1 And it came to pass in the seventh year, in the
fifth [month], the tenth [day] of the month, [that] certain of the elders of
2 Then came the word of the LORD unto me, saying,
3 Son of man, speak unto the elders of
4 Wilt thou judge them, son of man, wilt thou judge
[them]? cause them to know the abominations of their fathers:
5 And say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; In the day
when I chose Israel, and lifted up mine hand unto the seed of the house of
Jacob, and made myself known unto them in the land of Egypt, when I lifted up
mine hand unto them, saying, I [am] the LORD your God;
6 In the day [that] I lifted up mine hand unto them, to
bring them forth of the land of Egypt into a land that I had espied for them,
flowing with milk and honey, which [is] the glory of all lands:
7 Then said I unto them, Cast ye away every man the
abominations of his eyes, and defile not yourselves with the idols of
8 But they rebelled against me, and would not hearken
unto me: they did not every man cast away the abominations of their eyes,
neither did they forsake the idols of
9 But I wrought for my name's sake, that it should not be
polluted before the heathen, among whom they [were], in whose sight I made myself
known unto them, in bringing them forth out of the
10 Wherefore I caused them to go forth out of the
11 And I gave them my statutes, and shewed them my
judgments, which [if] a man do, he shall even live in them.
12 Moreover also I gave them my sabbaths, to be a sign
between me and them, that they might know that I [am] the LORD that sanctify
them.
13 But the house of Israel rebelled against me in the
wilderness: they walked not in my statutes, and they despised my judgments,
which [if] a man do, he shall even live in them; and my sabbaths they greatly
polluted: then I said, I would pour out my fury upon them in the wilderness, to
consume them.
14 But I wrought for my name's sake, that it should not
be polluted before the heathen, in whose sight I brought them out.
15 Yet also I lifted up my hand unto them in the
wilderness, that I would not bring them into the land which I had given [them],
flowing with milk and honey, which [is] the glory of all lands;
16 Because they despised my judgments, and walked not in
my statutes, but polluted my sabbaths: for their heart went after their idols.
17 Nevertheless mine eye spared them from destroying
them, neither did I make an end of them in the wilderness.
18 But I said unto their children in the wilderness, Walk
ye not in the statutes of your fathers, neither observe their judgments, nor
defile yourselves with their idols:
19 I [am] the LORD your God; walk in my statutes, and
keep my judgments, and do them;
20 And hallow my sabbaths; and they shall be a sign
between me and you, that ye may know that I [am] the LORD your God.
21 Notwithstanding the children rebelled against me: they
walked not in my statutes, neither kept my judgments to do them, which [if] a
man do, he shall even live in them; they polluted my sabbaths: then I said, I
would pour out my fury upon them, to accomplish my anger against them in the
wilderness.
22 Nevertheless I withdrew mine hand, and wrought for my
name's sake, that it should not be polluted in the sight of the heathen, in
whose sight I brought them forth.
23 I lifted up mine hand unto them also in the
wilderness, that I would scatter them among the heathen, and disperse them
through the countries;
24 Because they had not executed my judgments, but had
despised my statutes, and had polluted my sabbaths, and their eyes were after
their fathers' idols.
25 Wherefore I gave them also statutes [that were] not
good, and judgments whereby they should not live;
26 And I polluted them in their own gifts, in that they
caused to pass through [the fire] all that openeth the womb, that I might make
them desolate, to the end that they might know that I [am] the LORD.
27 Therefore, son of man, speak unto the house of Israel,
and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Yet in this your fathers have
blasphemed me, in that they have committed a trespass against me.
28 [For] when I had brought them into the land, [for] the
which I lifted up mine hand to give it to them, then they saw every high hill,
and all the thick trees, and they offered there their sacrifices, and there
they presented the provocation of their offering: there also they made their
sweet savour, and poured out there their drink offerings.
29 Then I said unto them, What [is] the high place
whereunto ye go? And the name thereof is called Bamah unto this day.
30 Wherefore say unto the house of Israel, Thus saith the
Lord GOD; Are ye polluted after the manner of your fathers? and commit ye
whoredom after their abominations?
31 For when ye offer your gifts, when ye make your sons
to pass through the fire, ye pollute yourselves with all your idols, even unto
this day: and shall I be enquired of by you, O house of Israel? [As] I live,
saith the Lord GOD, I will not be enquired of by you.
32 And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at
all, that ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries,
to serve wood and stone.
33 [As] I live, saith the Lord GOD, surely with a mighty
hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out, will I rule over
you:
34 And I will bring you out from the people, and will
gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand,
and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
35 And I will bring you into the wilderness of the
people, and there will I plead with you face to face.
36 Like as I pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness
of the land of Egypt, so will I plead with you, saith the Lord GOD.
37 And I will cause you to pass under the rod, and I will
bring you into the bond of the covenant:
38 And I will purge out from among you the rebels, and
them that transgress against me: I will bring them forth out of the country
where they sojourn, and they shall not enter into the land of Israel: and ye
shall know that I [am] the LORD.
29 Then I said unto them, What [is] the high place
whereunto ye go? And the name thereof is called Bamah unto this day.
30 Wherefore say unto the house of
31 For when ye offer your gifts, when ye make your sons
to pass through the fire, ye pollute yourselves with all your idols, even unto
this day: and shall I be enquired of by you, O house of
32 And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at
all, that ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries,
to serve wood and stone.
33 [As] I live, saith the Lord GOD, surely with a mighty
hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out, will I rule over
you:
34 And I will bring you out from the people, and will
gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand,
and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
35 And I will bring you into the wilderness of the
people, and there will I plead with you face to face.
36 Like as I pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness
of the
37 And I will cause you to pass under the rod, and I will
bring you into the bond of the covenant:
38 And I will purge out from among you the rebels, and
them that transgress against me: I will bring them forth out of the country
where they sojourn, and they shall not enter into the
48 And all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled
it: it shall not be quenched.
49 Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! they say of me, Doth he not
speak parables?
I have seen people that are Christians get falling down
drunk at their work place. Just how does that reflect upon God. A pastor I once
knew would go into local businesses and get screaming angry with people. That
WAS a bad reflection upon God as well as that local church.
God does not want Christians to reflect badly upon Him.
The cure for this is the training and education of believers in the ways of the
Lord.
Now, apply that to our present situation. If Christians
are reflecting poorly upon their Lord, then the church has failed to train
properly. Case in point - divorce/remarriage - God says that it is wrong, many
Christians say it is right - even many fundamental pastors!
The educational system within the church has failed
miserably. We have not been teaching what proper marriage is and have not
warned against divorce, thus our divorce rate is close to that of the world.
Has it dawned on you that this passage, though centered
in the home, is actually strong on proper marriage relations? Paul links the
topic to defacing God's name!
The older women are to teach the younger women to run a
proper home. Now, the women's libbers would hate this passage, but they never
look at the total picture of how the Bible portrays women. The Bible elsewhere
shows that women can be involved in business outside the home as well - don't
knock God's view of women before you understand what His view is.
In a nutshell as I see this view, He would have the woman
in the home raising children and caring for her husband. The Old Testament
allows for business outside the home if this is desired. Indeed, in our society
it is almost a necessity. The woman is free to do outside the home as long as
she is caring for the children and husband properly.
The Bible is clear that she is to be in subjection to her
husband, but that does not make her a second class citizen - only makes her
obedient to God that rewards individuals for their response to Him.
Two further points men:
a. The woman caring for kids and husband does not forbid
you husbands from helping around the house if you have time. A helping husband
is a true blessing to a busy housewife, or working mom.
While in college we ran into many working wives that had
husbands in seminary that were not working. The husbands were not at the books
all the time, they were often in the parking lot playing football or some other
sport. These wives wanted to be good wives, but felt they were being used by
their slacking husbands.
b. The submission is not dictatorship. It is your
responsibility to consult with your HELPMEET because she may have areas of
expertise that you need help in. Talk things over with your spouse and then
make the decision. Yes, it is the man's decision, but input from the wife never
hurts. Once the decision is made, it is then the wife's place to abide by it
and help him in following up.
Application of this may even run to the idea of the wife
having a career which requires relocation. A mutual talking about the situation
would probably come to a proper decision. Is it the husband’s decision? Yes. He
is the head of the family according to the Scriptures.
If he decides NO, then he had better have clear direction
from God on the matter or he may well answer for his decision before God.
If ye says yes, it does not make him a wimp, a nerd, a
follower, or anything else. It makes him the head of the house making a
decision based upon the facts and God's leading.
6 Young men
likewise exhort to be sober minded.
The young men are also to be encouraged to be sober
minded, or self controlled or right minded. This would relate to all areas of
life, be it at work, at home or at play. I think many Christian men need to
relate this aspect to their actions at sports events. They are Christian men,
not maniacs and should act like Christian men, not like unsaved lunatics.
I know of more than one Christian "leader" that
has no problem blowing up and getting overtly angry at sporting events. My, how
Christ like.
Titus is also to address the young men concerning their
lifestyle. I am not sure just what to make of the shortness of the list in
relation to the men as opposed to the list for the young women, nor do I feel
it safe to comment on same.
Again, there might be some culture involved. The nature
of the Cretan society may have been different that our own. It may be that the
young men had, by nature, a different make up and spiritual need than the young
women.
I really don't think that some of the teachings for the
young women would be inappropriate in our society for young men. We might make
mention that the older men should be teaching the younger men as the older
women teach the younger women.
I might make note that the term translated "young
men" and the term translated "young women" are the same Greek
word - the context being the determinate factor as to the gender indicated. The
word relates to youth or youthful or younger. One commentary says that the
verse four use is a feminine form of the word (both spelled the same and both
the same Strong's word so not sure why he says that.)
The idea of loving the husband requires the first passage
to relate to women, while it is broken away from verse six in that it contains
"likewise" indicating another group - other than the young women.
7 In all things
shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine [shewing] uncorruptness,
gravity, sincerity, 8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is
of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
In Wyoming, several of the little towns have spent big
money to maintain their basketball floors for their ball games. Many of them do
not allow food and drinks in the Gym. This is their right and privilege to do so.
I know of two pastors in small Bible churches that have thought the rule was
stupid, so have taken food and drink into the gyms. In Wyoming that is stupid.
The townspeople did not take kindly to the action and let the believers of the
churches know so. What a testimony these men were for their churches and their
Lord.
Of course the pastors had the RIGHT to disobey a rule
that was in their mind "stupid," but they should have considered
their church, their congregation, and their Lord before standing up for their
rights.
In many small communities, not only in Wyoming, the
people are tight knit and that sort of blatant disrespect is long and hard to
overcome. Pastor, consider well your action beforehand, rather than after when
you have found that trouble has arisen.
Okay, just what is the purpose of this passage? Paul
wants Titus to be a pattern. A pattern is the plan for building something, or
the plan of laying out material to sew together for a garment. Titus is to be a
pattern, a plan, a layout of steps toward spiritual maturity.
While working at J. C. Penney I was asked to assemble a
large computer desk armoire. It was a kit that was shipped in two or three
boxes. Being a totally mechanical type guy, this was going to be a snap, this
was going to be over shortly and I would be on my way home.
Yep, you know it - it took me over four hours to assemble
that thing. When I carefully opened the cartons and inspected and laid out each
item I was left with a huge pile of carefully laid out items - none seemed to
relate to the other. After all this huge armoire should have some major pieces
that would obviously relate to sides, top and back - well you'd think so. As I
pondered the prolific pile, I decided the instructions might should be scanned
at least. As I scanned the fairly thick instruction book I further pondered the
prolific pile of parts and pieces and wondered what I had gotten into.
Did the department manager know what those cartons
contained before she so sweetly asked me to assemble them? I rather think that
she was wiser than I.
Well, I decided that I should ponder the pamphlet
profusely before pontificating the prolific pile of parts and pieces,
particularly because I probably wouldn't part from work on time if I didn't.
As I started at page one, I finished the first step, then
the next and the next and oh my how easily that pile of parts started to take
shape. The whole process went smoothly except for the couple of times I thought
myself smarter than the pattern planner and got ahead of the steps a few steps
and had to retrace my steps to properly place the parts in place.
I found the directions to be quite clear, concise, and
very well planned. It was a very easy pamphlet to follow and it made the job go
much quicker than had I started off on my own.
This ought to be the goal of every leader in the church
today. They should consciously plan their day, their week, and their years as
to how they can set the best pattern possible for the young people of the
church.
A good pattern is one that is so very clear that you can
just take a look and go to work. A good pattern is one that is clearly thought
out and laid out in logical order. A good pattern moves the totally unskilled
along in a process to bring a pile of unrelated parts into a grand product that
is useful for the one it is built for - we are to be patterns to build workers
for God in case you didn't catch it, leaders.
We are to be living our lives so that the children and
youthful can look at our lives and EASILY see how to do the Christian life.
They need to be able to take all those concepts from the Word and fit them all
together within themselves to make a mature adult that can minister to others
in the world.
In case you didn't get that, the church body ought to be examples
unto youth that know the Christian life, so that they don't have to spend all
that money on self help books by all the big name preachers in the country. If
we were discipling our youth they would have more money to give to missions so
others could be discipled.
Ephesians four speaks to this in that the leaders are to
be maturing the church so that the members will be able to do the work of the
Lord. (Eph. 4.11ff)
Take a little time and wonder about what kind of pattern
you are - are you a good pattern, are you an easy pattern to follow, and are
you a complete pattern.
We see proper doctrine and works related - might we set
that duo into action in our churches today.
"Uncoruptness" is the standard. Now, that
computer desk armoire turned out to be a very nicely designed piece of
furniture. However, had I added a few steps of my own, or corrupted it, it
would not have turned out quite so nicely.
There is "corrupt," and there is "not
corrupted" and the leader MUST be in the "non-corrupted"
category. The life MUST be correct, the belief MUST be correct, and the service
MUST be correct, or the pattern produced will be faulty and those watching will
be hurt.
"Gravity" relates to one that lives such a life
that they are respected and honored. They live a proper life, a life that is
always godly.
Is there anyone in your past that you have really looked
up to? This is the sort of person that has "gravity" integrated into
their life. This sort of gravity is the sort of gravity that holds you down
properly spiritually just like physical gravity holds you to the earth.
I had a professor in my first couple of years of
I had a great respect for his efforts in my life and I am
sure that part of my living pattern is directly from watching him for those two
years. It wasn't a matter of liking him, it wasn't a matter of getting along
with him, nor was it a matter of being close to him - it was a matter that I
saw in his life something that was from God and that I needed to attempt to set
that pattern into my life as well.
Sincerity has a little thought of incorruptness built
into it. We are to be sincere about our incorruptibleness. We are to be serious
about not being corrupted. It must be that God is too.
8 Sound speech,
that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed,
having no evil thing to say of you.
"Speech" is the word "logos" or
"word." Sound has the thought of being whole physically or complete
and ready to function. Your word is to be sound and complete - correct might
also be a good thought.
Just a little flash back to something we covered earlier
- how can the liar be considered to be of sound speech? They can't, thus the
leader must not lie in any case or condition or he will be found to be of
unsound speech.
The leader’s speech is to be correct and honest so that
it can't be condemned or found wanting. Imagine, never saying a word that could
bring condemnation, having a life so godly that a lost person is ashamed to be
around you - NOT UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE OF YOUR CAUSTICNESS BUT ASHAMED THAT HIS
Imagine a life that is so godly that the lost can't find
anything evil to say about you!
That is the life that Titus is to live as a minister.
That is the life that your minister should live.
That is the life that you should expect from your
minster.
HOWEVER!
That is also the life that your minister should be
teaching you to live and after a reasonable time expect of you! Now, before you
judge your minister or missionaries, remember that this is your standard of
excellence as well. By the way, how are you doing today? Are you living a life
that is so godly that no one can speak evil of you?
APPLICATION:
1. Probably the most obvious application to the older
women teaching the younger to love their husbands is that marital love can be a
learned process. In fact it likely is all the time. That fuzzy wuzzy stuff we
get married over most likely isn't really love, but may be. Usually real love
comes after a while in marriage.
The women of today set aside husbands (and the other way
around) because "I don't love him any more." Then the older women
should teach that woman to love her husband instead of dumping him and going
out to look for greener grass.
How does a woman learn to love? Ask a woman, I don't
know. Well, there should be some things we can jot down to give a start.
a. Learning the proper husband wife relationship. When
this is done the husband will respond properly to the relationship - not that
he shouldn't even if the wife is not doing it correctly, but the point being
both need to adhere to the proper relationship.
b. Learning to properly care for a husband. This means in
all areas of life, physical, mental and sexual - well she probably has a hand
in the spiritual as well.
c. Learning to have a proper relationship to God. Without
this the first two will not be as easy. As the woman relates to God properly
then the submission to the husband and the taking care of him should become
much easier.
d. The above will move the two into a closer relationship
where love can grow rather than wither and die.
When all of these are in proper perspective, love
automatically will happen, in my mind. Ya, I know there are a million
psychologists that disagree, but then many of them don't know God's word and
the others probably ignore it.
2. Barnes says it well when he comments on the need for
love in the home. "All happiness in the marriage relation is based on
mutual love. When that departs, happiness departs. No wealth or splendour in a
dwelling--no gorgeousness of equipage or apparel-- no magnificence of
entertainment or sweetness of music--and no forms of courtesy and politeness,
can be a compensation for the want of affection. Mutual love between a husband
and wife will diffuse comfort through the obscurest cottage of poverty; the
want of it cannot be supplied by all that can be furnished in the palaces of
the great."
Love in the home will move one to work toward the best
interest of the other.
Love in the home will move one to treat the other as the
most important.
Love in the home will move one to speak in a loving
manner to the other.
Love in the home will move one to subdue criticism of the
other.
Love in the home will move one to do for the other.
Love in the home will move one to nurture the other.
Love in the home will move one to encourage the other.
Love in the home will move one to be interested in the
other.
Love in the home will move one to be accepting of the
other.
Love in the home will move one to -- you fill in the
blank.
Remove love and you most likely will remove all of the
above.
Now, all that said, I don't think Barnes meant, and I
know I do not intend to give the impression that if love is missing it is automatic
divorce time. Certainly not. It is time to work on your marriage and nothing
more.
3. What do you think of the thought that the younger
women are to be taught to love their children? What parent doesn't
automatically love their child? I must assume from what Paul said, some don't
love their children automatically.
If you look at lost society, you will see that love for
offspring is not all together natural. We see so much child abuse that we must
conclude that many lost people do not automatically love their children.
Indeed, I assume there may well be Christians that abuse their children. No one
that loves their child could abuse that child - or at least so you would think
but that is not all together true either.
We can love, but we can mistreat quite effectively - this
happens between husband and wife as well.
How can we teach the younger women to love their children?
Teach them to properly understand that their child is a
person.
Teach them to properly understand that this child is
loved by God.
Teach them to properly understand that this child does
not know all that the mother knows.
Teach them to properly respond to their child.
Teach them to properly care for their child.
Teach them to properly raise their child.
Teach them to properly nurture their child.
Teach them to properly walk with God.
Teach them to properly teach their child to also walk
with God.
4. "Keepers at home" Just what is this concept
of keepers at home?
Taking care of business:
The business of the husband.
The business of the children.
The business of the cleaning.
The business of the cooking.
The business of the laundry.
The business of the entire home.
The business of the finances may also be included.
Now, let's explore that a little. She is to do so in
submission to the husband. He has the oversight, but she is responsible for
carrying it all out. Does this mean that the husband is exempt from any of
these duties? Does this mean that he should stay out of the kitchen? Does this
mean the man can't stay at home with the kids?
It seems to me that the husband is overall responsible to
see that it is all done. The wife is responsible to submit to the husbands
wishes. Now, how do those two things work themselves out? In my mind - and my
mind only, as I am sure some would disagree.
The husband and wife should in some manner work out how
the two relationships work, and how the business of the home is going to work
out. This might be done before the marriage ceremony sets the two at odds. (It
should be a topic of the pre-marital counseling in my mind :-) Or it can be
worked out after the two have come to disagreement, or it can be worked out
over time. Indeed, it may have to be re-thought from time to time as the situations
of life change.
I once talked to a woman whose husband had always been
the bread winner and she the home maker. He had a major heart attack and would
never be allowed to work again. Now, they had to sit down and re-think their
plan of action for life.
Both sitting down and understanding the others place in
life is a good place to start. The man is responsible to God for the household
so the wife needs too see this, understand it and work with him on his
responsibility. She is to be submissive to his plan, and he must work with her
to help her accomplish this responsibility - she can't submit if she doesn't
know the plan.
If the man works for the support of the family I feel the
wife ought to do most of the "at home" duties, though the husband is
not relieved of helping out in any of these duties if there is need of
assistance. If there are six little ones taking a lot of time, he might need to
step in and assist because the wife is not going to be able to do all that
needs to be done.
At the same time, the wife needs to be tuned to the fact
that a man in our society in business may only be putting in forty hours, but
his mental condition may say eighty.
WORKING TOGETHER MIGHT BE THE
I know many men, while in college allowed their wives to
work to support the family, but instead of applying their time to studies,
would play catch or some other "manly" time waster. This was not
proper use of their time, when their wives put in forty hours at work and then
had to come home to do the household duties. This is not Biblical nor is it
loving!
My wife used to ride the bus home from work and listen to
the sobbing of student wives that were in this situation. They were being
submissive to their husbands, but their husbands were abusing their family
leadership by not doing their part.
5. Just a little more about the wife being obedient to
her own husband. This idea of "own" is quite important especially in
our day. The wife is to be obedient to only one - her husband - in any and all
areas of life.
Her heart should be his.
Her mind should be his.
Her time should be his.
Her body should be his.
Her emotional life should be his.
Now, that puts a lot of weight on the husband - to
respond properly to all of that stuff! Today we have few wives doing right, and
there are too few husbands that would respond properly if they did - and I
would agree the husbands not responding maybe why the wives are not doing their
part - not that either is right.
She should not respond to men in the way she responds to
her husband - in any area. She is his and he is for her - no other combination
is correct, or acceptable.
6. There is a reality in our own age relating to the aged
women teaching the younger. The aged must have some concept of what to teach
the younger. The elder must have a life appropriate to be an example to the
younger. The elder must know what the younger are to be like.
Many today are so far from Biblical in their lifestyle
that they have nothing to teach to the younger women. Many of the older women
in our churches are divorced/remarried, thus how can they teach a younger woman
to properly love their husband?
Pastors and teachers, we HAVE to start teaching people
what the Christian life is - it is not feeling good about ourselves, it is not
fuzzy wuzzy music to get our emotions in a tizzy, it is not helping them
rationalize away their sin, it is not giving them forty excuses as to why they
can do a little sin without guilt, it is not getting them into a jazzercize
session at the church.
Pastors and teachers are to be training the congregation
to do the work of the Lord - look at Ephesians four and see if you can fit it
into your church - does your church fit the Biblical pattern? Are you doing the
work that God set you in the church to do?
By the way, you can't teach the congregation how to do
the work of the Lord if you are filling your church with lost people, using all
sorts of gimmicks to draw them in to "gospelize" them. If you were
training your congregation to do the work, they would be evangelizing in the
work place and filling your church with new Christians - no cost no brain drain
to figure out the new gimmicks either.
7. Last Sunday we received a very neat phone call from
one of our kids. Our son said his son had something to tell us. His oldest got
on the phone and told us that he had been baptized. Then the next oldest girl
got on the phone and told us she had been baptized. Then the youngest
(daughter) got on the phone and told us she had been baptized.
What a wonderful phone call. Gill mentions "To love
their children; not with a fond, foolish, loose, and ungoverned affection; but
so as to seek their real good, and not only their temporal, but spiritual and
eternal welfare; to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;
and to use and keep proper discipline and government over them; for otherwise,
amidst all the fondness of natural affection, a parent may be said to hate a
child, Pr 13:24."
The love we hear about in the media is not true love. It
isn't even a good example of polluted love anymore. Television shows depict a
couple having extramarital relations and calling it love - no - that is sin.
Love in the family is a self-giving love - doing for the
good of the other person. Loving your children is not giving them everything
under the sun, it is not letting them do whatever they want, and it is not
letting them slide through school. Love requires a standard and love requires
commitment to that standard. Love is bringing the other along to maturity. Love
is the nurture that is required in the family - though it is missing in many
families today.
8. Prov. 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." This verse backs the
thought that the younger women need to know how to run and function in a
Christian home or they will tear it apart. There is a dearth of this teaching
today and we are suffering the consequences in the church because of it.
The building of a home must be on the foundation of
Christ and nothing else, or you are building a home on the sand and it will
fall. I once preached a message on building a house on the sand and the
ludicrousness of the idea makes the passage seem so un-needed. It should be
clear that anyone would know the principle, but yet we see people doing it all
the time in their family and spiritual lives.
Either we build on a strong foundation and we build with
quality products or we reap the result - catastrophe.
Keathley mentions Anthusa, a young woman that married and
had two children, but lost her husband early in life. She lived from c. 330 to
374 A.D. After her husband died she devoted herself to raising her children in
a Godly home. Her son John Chrysostom is clear indication that this concept
works. He became a prominent church leader and preacher known to any Bible
student and most Christians.
Anthusa was from a wealthy family and was raised in all
those benefits, yet she chose to rear her children rather than to find
fulfillment outside the home in her society.
He also raises the question whether Paul is speaking to
problems and solutions that were meant only for the culture that Titus was
working in. He suggests, and rightly so, that these are universal principles
for all time. There is nothing to indicate that these are for his culture only.
It would be easy; indeed, many have turned away from
these universal principles and taken on more "culturally appropriate"
principles from the women's movement. They may be principles, but they are far
from being Biblical principles.
Just a side note, can you imagine Paul getting wound up
had he lived during the feminist movement days? Can you imagine the three
volume book he would have written on the subject?
9. Paul addresses some remarks to the younger men - it
crossed my mind, I wonder if he was aiming some of them toward Titus, as he
would have been a younger man himself most likely.
I doubt that Paul was using a round about way of telling
Titus how to act, but I have to wonder if Titus didn't take the comments to
mind for serious consideration.
10. Imagine living a life where no one has anything evil
to say about you. This is the life that Paul wants all of us to live. To live
in such purity that there is no suspicion, no wondering, and nothing that would
even hint at wrong.
Is this the life that you see when you see the television
personalities that speak of their "Christianity?" Is this the life
you see in the sports figure that speaks of their belief in Jesus? Is this the
life that you see when you examine your pastor that speaks of purity of living?
Is this the life that you see when you fellowship with one of the church
members over coffee - or what they see in you?
We all ought to live our lives so that none can lay
accusation. Imagine the world if they woke up one Monday morning and every
Christian they knew started living that sort of life.
11. The thought of leaders living as they ought, so that
the younger can have a proper example is a must. It is the only way the church
will ever prosper, aside from God's handiwork within the church. We must have
leadership that sets a shining example of purity and of godliness. If they do
not, then those watching their example will not turn out correctly either.
I think one area that we might use in this thought is the
idea of gossip or the tongue. I have seen more than one church leader that
allowed their tongue to waggle a lot more than they should.
Twice in my life I have heard from others that I have
been related to Educational institutions that were less than doctrinally
correct. Once in
Just recently someone said "I hear you are teaching
at that new seminary." That new seminary is off in the area of eschatology
and is far from the conservative philosophy of life that I follow. I told the
man that I wouldn't teach there if I were paid and that he should return to the
gossip that told him that and straighten him out on the facts.
Leaders ought not listen to all the hot air that
circulates these days, they will suck in way too much false information while
missing the truth that they would get if they were reading the Word instead of
listening to all that blows in the wind.
Remember, the line between prayer requests and gossip is
crossed way too easily.